Well I’m changing all my strings
I’m gonna write another traveling song
About all the billion highways
And the cities at the break of dawn
These are some lyrics from a song I like, which I’ve been thinking a lot lately as the new year rolls around. I like the idea of starting fresh for the new year — new strings for your guitar, new pens or pencils or paintbrushes. I love to get blank books or new sketchbooks for Christmas and break them open in the New Year. Empty pages full of potential. I like the idea of cleaning out a studio or workspace, making room for new projects and new ideas. In many places around the world, it’s customary to clean the house top to bottom, sweep the hearth and the stoop, throw dirty water out your front door. Clean all the sheets and blankets and hang them out in the sun to dry. Air out your underwear. Clear out the cobwebs in your home and your mind.
But I must confess I like the cobwebs, too. Those thin fragile strands of thought and memory that cross and recross in our minds. And I like the busy spiders who work so nimbly to connect all of our ideas and inspirations and feelings. And I love that these intricate connections form a web that’s so much stronger than each filament on its own. I wouldn’t want to sweep all of them away. These spiders, these cobwebs, they are my friends and colleagues, my creative partners.
But I’ve also been thinking a lot lately about the freedom that comes from making a little room in your mind. I’ve spoken (and spoken and spoken) about Nina Simone’s definition of freedom, which is to have no fear. “That’s what I mean by free. I’ve had a couple times on stage when I really felt free and that’s something else. That’s really something else! I’ll tell you what freedom is to me: NO FEAR! I mean really, no fear. If I could have that half of my life. No fear. Lots of children have no fear. That’s the only way I can describe it. That’s not all of it, but it’s something to really, really feel. Like a new way of seeing. Like a new way of seeing something.”
For me, the thing that children have is freedom from self-doubt and second-guessing, and I would like to clear those things from my mind. I would like to sweep away that voice that says, “Why bother?” (It was strong with me at the beginning of the month, and I felt crushed. But there was a stronger voice that responded, “Because I want to.”) Children don’t fret about wasting time if they spend the day doodling on paper or drawing figures in chalk on the sidewalk or playing in the yard. They don’t ever ever worry about wasting time. It’s not a concept to them because all they have is time. And endless creativity, no preconceptions, the ability to see the world in a new way, their own way because they are new. They haven’t been formed into a mold, told how to look at things, how to draw things, how to write things, how to form a conforming message that people will want to buy.
So I’ll hang onto my cobwebs and the spiders that make them, but I will try to throw the dirty water of regrets, fears, self-doubts, criticism from others, fear of trying something new, creatively, I will try to throw those out the door, in this new year. And that is my wish for all of you. Thank you, as ever, for sharing or for reading. I love this little Magpies’ nest of beautiful things, and I am grateful for everyone who has helped to build it.
Categories: featured
magpiesmagazine.com 
Dear Editor,
I agree with your opinion piece about “starting fresh in the new year.” Everyone has their way of beginning anew, but I heretofore never considered airing out my underwear in preparation. Or throwing dirty water out the front door. Of course, it’s been six or seven years since I left Lambertville, and I haven’t kept up with the local fashions. Do you have a booth at Shadfest?
For me, the new year (which really should be the solstice) is like the orbital perigee it is, the moment before a grand swing out into the unknown. And if that sounds a little Neil DeGrasse Tyson, you tell ME where we will be a year from now with that clown in control. Sorry, didn’t mean to go there.
But you also talked of freedom. Allow me to put on my fedora and light my pipe here. It’s worth considering Roosevelt’s Four Freedoms. Freedom of speech, worship, want, and fear, as wonderfully illustrated by Rockwell. Clearly vulnerable in today’s political climate.
I disagree with a definition of no fear that comes from a point of ignorance, such as a child’s no fear. That’s a lack of understanding reality. It’s hard, if not impossible, to evade fear if there isn’t enough money for groceries or the rent. Or if someone you love is seriously sick, or you are in a position that will penalize you for taking an ethical or moral stand. Or you can hear the guns. Can you divorce your feelings? Should you?
There are words that become popular for periods of time. Curate is hot now. People are using the word agency more, too. That’s a good one. A combination of power, means, and influence. I think when you have that, feel that, you feel freedom.
Whether you HAVE freedom, I’m not sure. There are many limits in this life, and words are kinda slippery. But agency—the control over your life—now there’s a feeling. It’s up to all of us to make things happen within the limitations of our circumstances. That changes the circumstances.
It’s not a lack of limits that magically allows things to happen. It’s working with what you have. Working hard. Taking chances. Aiming high. And it doesn’t just advance the cause; it grows the person.
It’s what has made Magpies a solid and important magazine. Capability, technique and effort. And what made you an exceptional writer (That’s not smoke. You are).
You deserve every one of your readers; in fact your magazine is worthy of a huge readership. I’d love to see that bloom for you this year. Just make sure I’m not walking past when you throw the dirty water out the door.
R
>
LikeLike
I’ve been thinking a lot a lot about the four freedoms. Norman Rockwell’s version, too. I was going to write about it. Might yet if I can collect my thoughts. It’s all so complicated.
As for the “NO FEAR,” I just meant creatively. Not in life as we live it day to day, unless we’re lucky enough to have creating be our day-to-day. I understand that there’s plenty to be terrified of right now. I meant a child’s no fear in the sense that you shouldn’t doubt what you’re creating. The bigger fear you talk of can be a huge inhibitor to creativity, if you don’t have time, safety, security, money, you might not be able to create. I understand that. But I was thinking more, for the moment, about that voice in your head that doubts what you do. Or what I do, I guess! I was thinking about freedom from the voices (within or without) that tell you what you make is not worth making or is a waste of your time.
The other bigger fear is a different matter. It’s been on my mind, but I didn’t feel like it was good juju to talk about it today. I know what you mean, though, I certainly do.
LikeLike